One day, Wanda Brunstetter sat down at her typewriter with a pencil behind her ear and a raw determination to write a story about the biggest S.O.B. that ever lived.

The result: Letters of Trust. 

Our story begins with Eleanor and Vic starting a new life together in Pennsylvania. They just got married and moved to Lancaster to be close to Vic’s family. Eleanor is from Indiana, so this is a big move. Her parents don’t like or trust Vic (they turn out to be the schmaert ones) so it’s most likely a scheme of his to get away from anyone holding him accountable for literally anything. This man, as you will see, is allergic to life’s little responsibilities.

The plot plods along, Elle and Vic are “happy” and he’s got an annoying kid brother named Eddie who is running around with a target on his back. Vic’s parents decide to take an anniversary trip and even though there are two unmarried adult daughters living in the haus, they farm Eddie out to Vic and Elle. 

Surprisingly, Elle is having trouble keeping the 8-year-old occupied, “even though she gave him a simple puzzle to work on.” Finally it’s the weekend and Eddie keeps asking Vic to teach him to swim in the pond. Vic keeps putting it off. We all know what’s coming. Eddie goes missing and Vic finds him drowned in the pond. It was pretty emotional, but then Wanda OF COURSE had to copy/paste from the CPR Training handbook a how-to on resuscitation. If I wanted to know how it worked, I would take the course. 

Vic is wracked with guilt because he never took the time to teach Eddie to swim. They go to the funeral and this is the only time I will stick up for Vic through this whole novel: he’s sobbing in a horse stall hiding from people when Elle comes in and is like “tHeRe ArE pEoPlE wHo HaVe BeEn WaItInG tO tAlK tO yOu FoR a LoNg TiMe, CoMe iNsIdE, vIc.” Vic says he just wants to go home and Elle keeps pushing him to come talk to these nincompoops who are waiting inside…I’m pretty sure you should just go home if you find your husband sobbing in a horse stall. 

Vic has this co-worker, Tom, who drives him to work. Earlier in the book he was trying to get Vic to drink a beer with him and he drove after having three and hit a fencepost(???) and Elle wasn’t happy. Suddenly, Vic decides that beer will ease his guilty conscience and he goes to Tom’s house and drinks a beer with him. The word beer is said more than 198 times in one chapter. Vic takes his first sip and literally says, “Wow, I like the fruity, funky flavor of this beer.” 

Srsly.

Vic has four beers and is reaching for the fifth when Tom stops him because he’s so drunk. Vic is a construction worker. I would think he would be able to consume four beers without crumpling. Tom dumps him off at home and Elle tells him to sleep it off on the couch and that he ruined their first anniversary. “Oh boy, I really messed that up!” he says in the understatement of the year. 

Vic promises he won’t drink anymore but then he goes to Tom with a tarp in his buggy so he can hide the beer he’s gonna buy so no other Amish see him rolling around with booze. He doesn’t want to go to the store to buy the beer because someone he knows might see and blab about it to the Bishop. He arrives at Tom’s and asks to buy some beer. Tom says he just bought a “carton” today. Vic buys some, then tells Tom (who never asked) that he’s planning on hiding the beer in the barn so Elle doesn’t find it. 

Of course a cat has kittens by the box and Elle finds it. I was hoping she would leave the beer and a suitcase on the porch and lock the door, but alas. She does confront Vic and he claims he’ll never do it again. 

They go to Sarasota, Florida for Thanksgiving so they don’t have to be around family and they rekindle their love. Vic cooks eggs wearing a pair of shorts and then suggests they have their kaffe on the porch. Elle says she’s going to change first because it wouldn’t be appropriate for the neighbors to see her in her nightgown and bathrobe and Vic says, “Yes, that’s for my eyes only,” and I recoiled reading that. Vic’s lower legs get sunburned because he sat on a beach chair with his pantlegs rolled up for 5 minutes. 

Upon arriving back home, Elle takes a pregnancy test because “In addition to being slightly nauseous, she had missed her monthly and the greasy odor of cooking bacon made her feel sick.” She finds out she’s pregnant and “calculated that the conception must have happened in Sarasota as they had both been so relaxed.” I just recoiled again. She’s excited to tell Vic the news but when she does, all he does is shout, “I’m not ready to be a daedI!!!” and runs out the door. 

He drinks beer and thinks about how he had assumed that they couldn’t have children since they’d been married a year with no baby. He then thinks about how they hadn’t slept together since Eddie’s death. 1. Why is there so much discussion of this and 2. WHY DID ELLE HAVE TO DO A CALCULATION EARLIER TO FIGURE OUT WHEN THE CONCEPTION HAPPENED??? WHY DID I WASTE 2 SECONDS OF MY LIFE READING HER DOING THE CALCULATION?? WHY?

When Elle tells Vic’s family, Vic’s mom, Susie, can tell that Vic isn’t happy so she confronts him. He says, I’m not ready to be a daed and Susie, savage that she is, thinks to herself, Then you shouldn’t have been engaging in marital relations.  

Vic descends into alcoholism and Elle is sick all the time. She finally starts to tell people what’s going on and one day Vic is seen by an Amish guy stumbling out of a bar. This guy tells Vic’s dad, who confronts Vic after Elle had just told him to go to AA. Vic lies straight to his dad’s face and says “That Amish man who resembled me who was seen coming out of the saloon was not me.” His dad says, “Well, I’m glad to hear that the Amish man who resembled you and was seen coming out of the saloon was not you.” He leaves. Then, the Bishop comes! He doesn’t do much good, and none of these people do, because nobody in Pennsylvania holds Vic accountable for anything. 

Elle is considering going home to Indiana to have the baby and honestly that would probably be the best choice at this point. Vic does nothing but treat her like crap or ignore her. 

Vic’s boss calls him into the office and says he thinks he has been hungover/drunk at work lately. He could send him for a Reasonable Suspicion BAT, Wanda! The boss tells him to get his act together but instead of being meek and agreeing, Vic shouts, “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME, I QUIT.” Heavy sigh. He wasn’t going to fire you! 

He tells Tom what happened and asks him to go to the bar with him. Tom says he has to go see his mom because it’s her birthday, but he’ll have one drink with Vic. (Sidenote: why does Tom vacillate between being a vile temptress and a sobriety coach?) After the drink, he tells Vic it’s time to leave. Vic says no! I’ll find a ride home. Tom says suit yourself, and leaves. Vic is so drunk that he spills beer on his chicken strips. He finds a ride home but is hit over the back of the head and wakes up in the hospital with a bloodied nose and bruises! Someone stole his wallet. This is ridiculous. 

He has a very weak Come To Jesus Moment and then Elle comes, he says he’s sorry and will change (heard that before) and then they embrace. The epilogue states that he’s in AA. They named the baby Rosetta. I have to say, I was invested in this story. I didn’t rehash every single terrible thing that Vic did to Elle, but he truly went above and beyond and won the prize for Worst Wanda Hero.