You last saw us in West Glacier climbing into the golf cart car to drive back into Canada. I’m not going to lie, I wasn’t looking forward to crossing the border. I didn’t have phone service in Canada and was only going to be able to have contact with people when I had wifi. The mere three to five hours we’d spent in Calgary and southern Alberta a few days before had been a stunningly foreign experience and I was comfortable in the good ol’ US of A. 

However, the point of travel is not to be comfortable. So once again I found myself handing over my passport and entering Canada. 

We had a 5.5 hour drive from West Glacier to Golden, British Columbia, where we were spending the night. This area of Montana is scenic, and the towns and houses are very nice. There are enough people that it doesn’t feel deserted, but not so many you feel closed in. During the drive through British Columbia, I looked out the window at the mountains and took in all of the startling road signs they’ve come up with in an attempt to keep the Canadian drivers from falling asleep at the wheel.

We saw a forest fire happening and planes battling the fire. It was interesting to see a wildfire in action, and it was far enough away from the roads and towns that it wasn’t scary. 

We also saw the Columbia River, so that was random and cool. 

We finally arrived at the Prestige Inn and were informed that the elevator was being serviced so we would have to use the stairs. (I’ll give a spoiler now: through the whole trip, we slept in five different hotels and only one had a working elevator.) We dumped our stuff in the room and I quickly showered as I felt grimy. This hotel was nice, clean, the beds were comfy, and we had a couch in our room at no extra charge. I’d recommend it. There was no free breakfast, which seems typical for Canada unfortunately, but are you even surprised? We were able to microwave some food we’d brought from the Browning IGA and had a leisurely evening in our room, some much needed rest. 

The next morning, we motored onto the Trans-Canada Highway and there were flashing signs that said YOU MUST EXIT, ROAD CLOSED. Since we are plucky Americans, we ignored this and drove on past. Turns out they were lying. The road was wide open. I simply cannot explain the things Canadians do. The TCH (I have no idea if they abbreviate it, but I can’t be bothered to type out Trans-Canada Highway more than twice) runs through Yoho National Park on the way to Banff. This is a very impressive stretch of road and I especially liked the view of the town of Field, as well as the wonky rivers that are half gravel. 

Our plan for the day was to go to Lake Louise, Moraine Lake, and some stops in Yoho on the way back to Golden. To get to Moraine Lake, you are (as of 2023) required to take a shuttle. You cannot drive your car to Moraine Lake. You can drive your car to Lake Louise, but the shuttle goes there, too, and parking fills up by like 6am, so why would you drive? Take the shuttle. It worked great and had wifi. 

The shuttle starts at a ski resort type place and as we walked across the parking lot a parking lot attendant very passive-aggressively told us we should have used the crosswalk because she had just “had like 13 cars go through there.” Well lady, I don’t see any cars right now, so get over it.
Somehow, against all odds because we are such dAnGeRoUs DiRtBaGs WhO dOn’T uSe CrOsSwAlKs, we made it to the lineup and eventually boarded the tour bus and were driven off a cliff to Lake Louise. I’m pretty sure we were the only English-speakers on this bus. I’ll just get it off my chest now: there are too many people speaking French in Canada.  

We got off the bus at Lake Louise and, while I have to admit I wasn’t really looking forward to Lake Louise because of the crowds, I fully enjoyed our time there. In fact, I would say it was a highlight of the trip. The key is to hit the lakeside trail and almost instantly you’ll lose the crowds. We took this path all the way to the end of the lake and a bit beyond. I believe we were on the beginning of the Plain of Six Glaciers hike, but I could be very wrong. All I know is we stayed on the same trail the whole time except for a short jaunt down a horse trail to the river’s edge. The water is such an interesting color here. 

At the very start of the lake, you can walk on some dry areas and it was here that an Asian man asked me if I could “help him take a picture” and I ended up laying on the ground to get the shot he wanted. 

We made our way back to the shuttle and rode up to Moraine Lake. It was frigid at this lake, so if you’re going here, pack a sweatshirt or coat. Once again we got away from the crowds by hiking the lakeside trail to the start (headwaters? apex? I don’t know the appropriate terminology) of the lake. This one had a beautiful rushing stream emptying into the lake. Moraine’s blue is much richer and darker than Lake Louise and was so impressive when the sun came out. 

We hit up the gift shop here which was EXPENSIVE. I picked up a sweatshirt and it was like $85 CAD so I didn’t buy it. I also accidentally picked up some woman’s purse thinking it was an item for sale and I was curious on what they were charging for it – oops. I tried to pay in Canadian cash at this gift shop and the guy didn’t have $3 in change. I asked him if this was going to be a problem everywhere I went and he responded that they were just “so far from the bank,” to which I said, “hm,” with a raised brow. They were only slightly further from a bank than I am at my house in Ohio. 

We headed back to Field for lunch at The Siding Cafe. It was quite a unique lunch spot and I’d recommend it. We looked at some historic markers in Field and learned that it was settled for mining and railroads. There is a nearby “spiral tunnel” for trains and we read the info plaque about it and were amazed. There is also a Yoho visitor’s center where we stopped and bought our parks pass for the days we were visiting. There was a display of fossils and some taxidermied animals. 

Our next stop was Takakkaw Falls. There were a lot of tourists here, and some Parks Canada workers had displays of animal pelts to look at. I planned to check them out on the way back to the car and we hit the short trail that brought us to our first run-in with Red Chairs. 

As you can see, I dislike the Red Chair gimmick that Parks Canada uses to try to make itself seem interesting and quirky. However, nobody likes to sit in Adirondack chairs and the truth is that they were actually first invented for tuberculosis patients in a sanitarium in New York state. Apparently the Canadians sometimes call these “Muskoka chairs” in a feeble attempt to rewrite history. I’d also like to say that the Canadian National Parks could make themselves a thousand times more interesting if they’d actually put up some informative signage that tells us about more than what Indian – sorry, First Nations – ancestral land we’re standing on. 

I love the Canadian National Parks system!

It was at Takakkaw Falls that I reached my limit for the day. The crowds at Lake Louise and Moraine Lake had been manageable, and the people weren’t acting like idiots. However, at this very tall and powerful waterfall, people were outdoing themselves in annoying behavior. Some Eastern European woman was in the river with her camera on a tripod taking pictures of her husband and 10 year old son. So, I plopped myself right beside them on a rock and thwarted the picture taking for a few minutes. They seemed annoyed. I had done my job. 

We headed back to the car, but not before someone walked past us smelling like poop. 

Oh yeah, those pelts I wanted to look at? The youth working the stand had packed up and had spirited himself off like a ghost.

We left this place and watched a tour bus back down a hill due to a tight switchback. On the way to our final stop for the day we checked out Natural Bridge and Emerald Lake. I wasn’t impressed by either of these due to the amount of people swarming. Our last hike for the day was Wapta Falls. We arrived at the trailhead after careening down a stone road that caused us to laugh hysterically. I got out of the car and the smell of frying bacon greeted my nose as well as the nose of every bear in a ten mile radius. There was a camper parked with their doors and windows open, frying up a rasher of bacon for their supper. I told Amanda I was going to go press my face against their door screen and growl, “If I were a bear I’d be slashing my way in there right now.” 

We hit the trail and it was…deserted, lined by thick berry bushes, and had several blind curves. This, combined with the bacon cooking and our lack of bear spray, caused us to decide it was time to be smart and turn around. We hightailed it back to the car, hopefully sprayed some gravel at the bacon cookers, and saw some female bighorn sheep on the side of the road near Golden. In the moment it was cool, but we agreed afterwards that they were pretty lackluster animals. If there had been a male, it would have been much more impressive. 

The next day, we hit the road in the warmest clothes we’d packed and aimed the car at the Icefields Parkway, which goes from Banff to Jasper. We picked up some Tim Hortons on the way and I have to admit, the coffee was good. Not as good as Winans, but I liked it. 

We stopped at several points of interest on the parkway. Peyto Lake (I petted a dog), the Columbia Icefield (this is where you enter Jasper National Park), Sunwapta Falls and Athabasca Falls were the big stops. I enjoyed the hike to the glacier at the Columbia Icefield, however I would caution you to avoid the place across the street. It’s so crowded and unnecessary. Use the bathroom somewhere else. 

We were driving to our hotel in Jasper and saw lots of people stopping for an animal. From the road it looked like a moose, so I got out of the car and trudged into the weeds to get a photo. I realized it was just a female elk so I snapped a halfhearted picture and went back to the car. Elk are cool, but I’ve seen females before so until I see a male, I will remain unimpressed. They’re just large deer. 

We arrived at our homeplace for the next two nights, the Tekarra Lodge. I went into the office to check in. The girl at the desk cautioned me to take a look around before we left the lodge in the morning or evening as they’d had a bear on the property that day. I asked what kind of bear and she said grizzly. Okay, I thought, maybe this is where we’ll see one. We headed to our room and it was very nice. There was a guest laundromat so we bagged up all our dirty clothes and headed over there. We found a Mennonite couple doing laundry. I threw stuff in the machine and put in a dollar coin, pressed start, and waited. Nothing was happening and the machine was flashing a message that read 300. Amanda and I both poked at the buttons, opened and reopened the door, and finally I asked the Mennonites, how does this work?? The girl said, “You need to put in three more dollars.”

“Can I use American change?” 

She gave me a look and turned away. I took this as an “are you stupid?” and walked back to the office to get some more Canadian coinage. (In my defense, the machine did have a smaller slot and said you could use quarters, so what was I to think?!) 

The girl seemed done with us, but the guy was talking to Amanda about having seen the bears on the property. Apparently it had happened moments before we arrived. Cue the straight line mouth emoji. 

After a leisurely evening eating food and talking to Derek on the phone, we decided to watch some tv. I kept hearing a rustling sound, so I would get up and look out the window hoping it was a bear. Every time I got up the noise stopped. Finally, after several hours of this, I decided I was going to figure out what was going on. I slowly got up and the noise continued. I realized it was coming from the direction of the trash can, and before I even saw it scurry off to its hole, I knew. There was a mouse in our room.