“The most beautiful gift of nature is that it gives one pleasure to look around and try to comprehend what we see.” 

–Albert Einstein

We started out bright and early at 12:30pm on Wednesday afternoon, asking ourselves why we hadn’t both just taken the whole day off of work and left that morning. Still, we were leaving earlier than we had planned so there was that. The drive started out smoothly and in no time at all we were halfway to our destination and made a stop for food in Salem, West Virginia. This stop at DQ (which had a parking space that could be described as one big pothole) took us about 30 minutes, yet when we started back up our GPS had added an entire HOUR to our ETA. Seriously, Lola?! Despite this we continued driving and passed through a triangle of Maryland and then popped back into West Virginia. Darkness descended and Lola told us to exit the divided highway we’d been enjoying. Catherine pulled off at a brightly lit gas station that featured many Trump signs and some guys drinking Busch Light crowded around a pickup. The place was clean, and there were some restaurant booths in there for some reason.

We hit the road again and Lola decided to take a dump and pretend she couldn’t reroute us. Probably because we didn’t have signal, but it was still rude. I felt a bit of panic rise because we didn’t seem to be on the right road. A deer appeared in the headlights but mercifully decided life was worth living and stayed put. We decided to turn around and head back to the gas station for directions. A fox ran across the road in front of us.

Once we got back to the gas station and went inside, the girl at the counter gave us some directions but another customer who reached in the freezer, took out an ice cream sandwich, and started eating it before paying was more helpful. He told us we’d for sure get phone signal once we got to Broadway, Virginia, which was 37 miles down the road. On we trekked, and finally came to Broadway. Phone signal was not coming in. I restarted both of our phones, and finally started to get some signal. It quickly faded and I shouted for Catherine to turn around and go back to the gas station where it had come in before. She whipped up a hill and into the parking lot of a “Smoke Shop,” where I got signal! I cheered and Catherine pulled back onto the road but did so by driving across a sidewalk and launching down a curb onto the road. I got the GPS back up and we wound our way to our hotel in Luray, Virginia, where we collapsed into bed for the night after I killed a bug and carefully folded down the hideous quilt that covered my bed. Wind from the air conditioner blew in my face and dried me out, but I found that if I wore the bedsheet as a sort of Middle Eastern headcovering, this could be prevented.

The next morning we were awake before the sun and packed up for the hike up Old Rag Mountain. Once we arrived to the trailhead, a guy asked us if we were with Owen or somebody who was from Ohio because he was supposed to meet him there. No, we said. I was confused by this exchange but moved on. The pit toilets at this trailhead were pretty nice, and hand sani was supplied.

The first three or so miles up were normal. Then, we hit the rock scramble. This is the big feature of this hike and for the first little while, it was fun. But it got to the point where I was done feeling like I was going to die and came close to a nervous breakdown. We pressed on, a guy helped us up a particularly challenging section, and we had rapport with a couple we kept meeting along the trail. Catherine and I inadvertently reenacted that classic movie trope of someone hanging from a cliff while gripping hands with a person above them, and she dragged me up a rock using only her brute arm strength. It was pretty dramatic.

Some kind of small bugs were swarming us, though once we got to the top they weren’t as bad. We hung out at the top for probably 15-20 minutes, but both of us wanted to be done so we hit the trail again.

Going downhill on this trail was my favorite part. There was a bathroom about a quarter of the way down which was a pit toilet, but had a fun feature. There was a tub full of sawdust and you were supposed to fill the cup and throw the sawdust down into the toilet. There was also hand sani here, which is really a luxury when it comes to pit toilets.

The weird part of this hike was that neither of us were hungry the entire time. This lack of hunger lasted the whole day and we ate like birds for supper. We drove on Skyline Drive, which afforded some killer views, and then, surprise surprise, took a wrong turn and had to turn around in a runaway truck ramp. If this is illegal, don’t come at me. There was literally nowhere else to turn around and I sure as heck wasn’t going all the way down the mountain just to turn around and go back up. We arrived in Charlottesville to learn that driving through this city is awful. I’d rather drive through Chicago again than do this. Stupid Lola took us to the wrong location and when we finally arrived at our hotel I beeped the horn at a Lexus that was blocking my way.

Catherine grabbed a trolley and we were loading our crap onto it when an SUV swung through and left an old guy standing there with a cane. He seemed unsteady so I had one eye on him as he made his way to the door. It’s a good thing I did because he began reeling backwards. I grabbed him and steadied him and wasn’t sure what to do after this, so I just watched him closely as he stumbled to the door. Thankfully another guy came up who had seen what happened and took the man’s arm and brought him inside. The next morning we saw the guy at breakfast and he came and let us know that he had got the old man to his room and wasn’t sure what the situation was there. He said that he was told that his “kinfolks” dropped him off, whatever that means. It was weird, but I’m glad we were there to keep him from falling.

That evening we watched some trash TV, 90 Day Fiance: Pillow Talk. It was highly entertaining and Angela & Michael were top shelf reality TV gold.

On Friday morning, we arose, packed it up, and headed to Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello. I’d been there when I was in high school, but I was looking forward to going back. We went through security and my purse was searched by a guy who looked really tired. He had a baton and flashlight and made me open my sunglasses case to reveal…sunglasses. Satisfied that I wasn’t going to wreak havoc on the place, he let me through. We boarded a tram and were driven up to the house where we waited for our tour.

And this is where I’ll end this post. Stay tuned for part two!